The last of the dog days

OAKLAND, Aug. 31, 2009 -- Welcome to A's-Royals, playing out the string. Exactly one minute before the scheduled first pitch, there had to be at least 375 people here.

I'm exaggerating, of course, but not by much. Seriously. This is without question the smallest crowd I've seen since I started covering the team in 2001. They could tarp the SECOND deck and it wouldn't seem intimate. So sad that this is what it's come to.

It got me to thinking: Why aren't these people all sitting as close to the field as possible?

Why not tell all of the ushers to reward loyaly by telling everyone it's a great big Southwest flight tonight. Open seating. If someone shows up with a ticket for your seat, swell. Give it up and move four seats down. That one's open. Plenty more around for you to slide into if it's not.

Go nuts. And make some noise, for crying out loud. Here's a free chocolate malt for your patronage.

And now, time for a few wind sprints around The Coli ...

... Gio Gonzalez better knock it off with the stare-down toward the plate after a call doesn't go his way. Word travels fast among umpires, and if this keeps up, dude's gonna be trying to throw into a strike zone the size of a thimble before you know it.

... Give Comcast SportsNet California credit for keeping it interesting when not much is. They're going with a fairly novel concept for tomorrow's telecast, taking viewers behind the scenes all over the yard for an "All-Access" look at various machinations of putting on a game in The Show. Among the highlights, you'll get a tour of the clubhouse from Steve "Voos" Vucinich, one of the coolest cats in the organization; you'll get a peek at players taking some hacks in the indoor cage; Foss and G-Kuip will have in-game interviews from the dugout and bullpen; and head groundskeeper Clay Wood will be mic'd up while dragging the infield (it'll be cooler than it sounds -- trust me, the dude's got personality). Nice break in the monotony, at the very least.

... If I'm a big league outfielder and somebody pummel one of my pitchers into the 40th row, I'm still giving it a courtesy jog back to the warning track. The drop-step's a bad look. Save that for the baseline in your offseason pickup hoop games.

... If you're waiting for the ruling on a home run review, chillin' in the on-deck circle, and they come out and call it a homer, from where do you start running? Right then and there, with the extra 20 yards or so of pimpage? Do you saunter back into the box and re-enact the hack? Do you go into the opposite box and live out your switch-hitter fantasy? This is the kind of stuff you think about covering ball in late August.

... Rosters expand tomorrow. Bob Geren says it'll be pitchers only in the first wave, but wouldn't a third catcher make sense?

... Tommy Everidge to the Minors. Not sure I get it. Love me some Nomar, but he's a first baseman/DH, and he's going to be maxin' on a SoCal beach at this time next year. Mt. Everidge might just have a future here, and while might very well be back soon, you have to stay in the Minors for 10 days when you get optioned, or until your Minor League team's season ends; Triple-A Sacramento's season doesn't end until Sept. 7. That's several days of experience and instruction TT's not getting. Curious.

... Scott Hairston was born to have a helmet on his head. Just sayin'. Think Fantastic Four, Michael Chiklis. Strong like bull.

... This is starting to turn into an if-I-were-in-charge post, but hey, it's happening. Go with it. If I'm charge, Luke Hochevar would have been yanked off mound like a weak Whitney wannabe getting hooked off stage at the Apollo. The indifference he showed as Rajai Davis pantsed him and Mark Ellis gave him a wedgie in the bottom of the third was unreal.

... Mike Selleck, the best baseball information manager in the bigs, just announced the crowd at 10,376. With a straight face. Classic.

That's all for now, gang. Peace, cherry Starburst and Snoop/Pharrell's "Beautiful" to all ...
            
--Mychael Urban